The Blade pictured below is one of life's winners and a clever chap however he does have some interesting facts buzzing around his huge cranium.

I am now his chronicler and sharing his facts of life with the world.

So lets begin:

Ducks are afraid of Triangles.

Woodpeckers cant fly at Night.

Sixteen Bin bags can stop a Bullet.

Japs have Silver Blood.

There is no Wind in the Desert.

You can't go to the Moon because it is made of Fire.

You can't cut a Bat with Scissors.

Helicopters can't fly West.

People from Luxemburg can not see the colour Orange.

Greeks don't have Cinemas.

Cambodians don't believe in Aero Planes.

Speed limits don't count on a Saturday.

There isn't anything much faster than a Ford Fiesta.

Griffins make no noise during Intercourse.

Here are some Facts from the magical board of Facts located in our workshop. Enjoy

You can't send red through time. Only yellow.

Kris has lots of fingers. etc.

There is no wind in the desert.

Girls hand hairdressers ride CBR600Fs

Pears are made of dogs and giraffes

Things written in green LED are fact

You can catch balboic plague from rocky

5150 is fact.

Anything you can drink is good for you.

Superman is a midget.

Kris had him on the corners.

Mike D says dogs can't look up.

Cows can't walk up stairs.

All DISCS are evil!

Rugby union is a sissies game.

People called tyrone can't eat pork.

Woodpeckers cannot fly at night.

Sixteen bin bags can stop a bullet.

Griffins make no noise during intercourse.

Monks cannot see apples.

Chicken goes straight on your arms.

If you really mean it a bullet will fire further.

Salt breaks laptops.

Sand storms come from scarab beetles.

Tom's bird is wrong.

The dutch have no concept of rust.

Visualizers do not work for canada.

Mike can only read german at home.

Most men can fight dogs.

White catches the wind.

Nobody can catch you in the future.

Priests cannot wear lip balm.

You can't destroy things on the internet.

There are no routes in france.

You can put anything into light.

Goosium is real and stops time.

You can't hide in a village.

If you punch someone's teeth out they become your property.

Pigs fear the wind.

You can't have crumpets after 11am or before 10pm

Nobody uses ebay before 6pm.

The word BAM can only be written in capitals.

You need at least three hard disks to write multiple dvd's.

You will run faster with a knife.

You can't clean plastic.

Geese can only eat on a thursday.

You could still touch in the 80's.

Mike rocks kris' world.

Mike and kris are techno fools.

You can go faster on a BMX than any other bike.

If you are in a taxi the law does not apply.

You can't relax in russia.

Kris in a saxo is faster than anything.

You can't kill a robot.

Killing turkeys causes winter.

Numbers suck and blow at the same time.

Butter does not go off.

Russians can grow muscles anywhere.

Everyone watches when hoff is on the screen.

Marti Pellow has fire behind the eyes.

A real stanley knife can cut through anything.

All chickens live on boats.

If you are truly angry you can't die.

All bullets will miss you if you are skinny.

You can find any virus in three hours.

Mike kelland is a dirty volume.

If you cut open a goose you will find four ducks.

People who work with fish can't see very far.

You can't play golf with tats on your face.

J is the first letter of Mohican and Orange.